THE AGGRESSIVE STANCE // Type 8
AGGRESSIVE STANCE (3's, 7's & 8's) are oriented against the actions of others.
Type Eights put the Centers of Intelligence into three categories:
THINKING (dominant)
DOING (supportive)
FEELING (repressed)
Like the other Aggressive numbers, Eights are also oriented towards their own actions, and like the others, they are also "Feeling Repressed." They trust themselves, and connect with others through thinking & doing.
Eights have a hard time not only recognizing that feelings are present, but that they are important. Their actions are focused on protecting themselves. Given their audacity, it might surprise other numbers to hear that Eights focus on self-protection and being in control; but their actions are based on the strategy that "the best defense is a good offense." They are strong and willful, and have an expansive view of what is possible in the world.
Being clear thinkers, Eights impatiently sift through nonessential data and look for essential information. They tend to not be relational with most "outsiders" and are able to disconnect emotionally from most situations. They can be tactless, but good tacticians. They are sometimes extravagant, and occasionally excessive. Surprisingly, they generally do not take risks with their money, power, or positions.
They are also spontaneous, full of energy, blunt, and firm. They are purposeful, and do what is important to them, but push against what they aren't interested in. They can be very expressive, but not usually with feelings. By repressing feelings, they remain emotionally guarded; but they do have a tender side reserved for the precious few "insiders" they trust. Many Eights have an unspoken belief that feelings show weakness, and make you vulnerable to being expected to follow, but they only want to lead.
Eights are relentless advocates for weak or defenseless people; but if feelings are pushed to the side, looking back, the very people Eights vow to protect are the ones whose feelings end up rejected. The discarded feelings are attached to real people who feel rejected when their feelings are ignored.
Okay Eights...do not lose hope! Let's talk about some ways Eights can develop their Feeling Center and become more balanced.
GROWTH POINTS FOR EIGHTS:
Accept the truth in order to move forward - The truth for Eights is that feelings are not only present, but also important!
Slow down! Give yourself to the process of being patient with others expressing their feelings.
Be present in those situations that you can't fix or control, especially when others are expressing their feelings.
Find an arena to express your tender side. Begin to practice emotional vulnerability with those who might be more threatening, but important to you.
Share your personal, vulnerable feelings, but do not confuse your passionate feelings with your vulnerable ones. This practice will help you discover the wonder of emotional connectedness and the joy of reciprocal relationships.
Take time to journal about vulnerable feelings - was there anything that was difficult for you today? was there anything that made you feel not in control? write about those emotions/feelings, especially the things that you couldn't control or fix. How did that go? Did it still work out? How could you respond more vulnerably next time?
Spouse or someone who cares for a Eight: encourage them to express a full-range of feelings and to be vulnerable with you. When communicating with an Eight, give them the final analysis first. Be direct when letting them know how situations made you feel, then encourage them to be vulnerable back. Keep in mind that Eights are often unaware of how they make others feel!
RESOURCES:
davidstamile.com / "Aggressive Stance: Eights"
theenneagramjourney.org / podcast episode 59 "The Enneagram & Repressed Centers"
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