THE WITHDRAWING STANCE // Type 4
WITHDRAWING STANCE (4's, 5's & 9's) are oriented to the past, what is comfortable and within themselves.
Type Fours put the Centers of Intelligence into three categories:
FEELING (dominant)
THINKING (supportive)
DOING (repressed)
Fours are attuned to their own emotional world and feelings, and they process what they FEEL with THINKING. They take in the world on a personal level while they analyze their own as well as others feelings, seeking to figure out why/how they have become who they are. This process of understanding develops into a rich imagination, critical thinking skills and curiosity. Through all of this thinking, Fours are actually very good at finding the answers as well as expressing themselves beautifully.
However, since their automatic response to life is to analyze it and figuring out how to express themselves fully, they find themselves trapped in this cycle of analysis instead of doing what needs to get done. This is why they are "Doing Repressed."
This means they are not comfortable with and tend to ignore the practical and mundane realities of everyday life. This does not mean that they do not do anything. Rather, they spend their time doing whatever seems interesting, exciting and unique. Meanwhile, mundane tasks like laundry, managing finances or cleaning are either left undone or left for someone else to do.
Fours seek fulfillment through relationships and have a deep longing for something or someone to make them feel whole. Their inward focus of the feeling center makes them intensely aware of their own likes, dislikes and desires. Often charming, they are able to respond to problems, pain and suffering with compassion, insight and understanding.
Okay Fours...do not lose hope! Let's talk about some ways Fours can develop their Doing Center and become more balanced.
GROWTH POINTS FOR FOURS:
Realize/understand the difference between FEELING & THINKING - once the two are separated, Fours can move forward to critical thinking and plan what's important for the day and make decisions.
Get out of your feelings so you can move to objectively thinking which is a gateway into DOING!
Look back on what causes your emotions to go up and down - in the future, try to interrupt these causes and not follow emotional leads into rabbit holes of feelings. You must interrupt it before it becomes so intense that it controls you!
Find a word or phrase that helps reorient you to God or to center, instead of your own feelings. Remember, you seek authenticity, but when you artificially inflate your feelings you are conjuring an inauthentic experience!
Consider the story from another person's vantage point instead of rehearsing old wounds and feelings from the past. What would the other person have seen or felt?
Acknowledge your pain and then let it go!
Pick one relationship to work on for a month. Cherish this relationship, be creative and give without asking or demanding anything from it. Pay attention to feelings of wanting to push away and try to figure out what is behind that feeling.
Remember - you are truly unique and the only one like you on the plant! You were created for a purpose! When you rest in that, notice how your impulses to assert your uniqueness fall away.
Take 30 minutes a day to journal your feelings to get them out of your head!
Spouse or loved one of a Four: encourage your Four to look past the feelings and more on the thinking; also to look on the positive side of things or help them see other points of view. Remind them that you are there for them and that they are not too much!
RESOURCES:
davidstamile.com / "Withdrawing Stance: Fours"
theenneagramjourney.org / podcast episode 59 "The Enneagram & Repressed Centers"
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