THE DEPENDENT STANCE // 1's ∙ 2's ∙ 6's There are three basic "Centers of Intelligence" that allow us to interact with the world:
THINKING
FEELING
DOING
Each of the Enneagram Types put these centers into three categories:
DOMINANT (PREFERRED)
SUPPORTING
REPRESSED
(It's like a three-layered cake! We have all three, but we each "layer" them differently.) Unfortunately, we tend to view life through our preferred "lense" and neglect the other two, causing us to miss out on developing the other two centers! Developing your repressed center is some of the most important and most difficult Enneagram work. It's like having a strong eye and a weak eye - you have to patch the strong eye to strengthen the weak one!
1's, 2's and 6's tend to be so controlled by their present situation that they struggle to think productively. They busy themselves by FEELING & DOING, not thinking. Therefore, they are "THINKING REPRESSED."
Ones, Twos, and Sixes can be as intelligent as anyone, but they struggle more than the other types to think productively, making it their repressed center.
1's - you feel like you're constantly thinking because of your inner critic, but it's really not productive thinking, just defensive inner dialog tiring you out; you respond by "busying yourself" doing what should be done right now.
2's - you spend a lot of quiet time thinking about relationships and others vs. thinking about yourself; you respond by "busying yourself" feeling the emotions of others then meeting the needs of the person in front of them.
6's - you spend a lot of time thinking/managing your fear and anxiety by wondering about worst case scenarios and planning for the future, but it's not productive thinking; you respond by "busying yourself" meeting the demands of the day’s schedule and responsibilities. "PRODUCTIVE THINKING" is an inherent act of moving from one ideological position to a new one, which generates new insights and new conclusions vs. retaining/rehearsing old standards. For the dependent stance types, they tend to struggle with the unproductive racket rattling around in their brains. (We like to visualize this as a bunch of marbles rolling around and clanking into each other! Pretty loud!) Thus, they struggle to think productively about THEMSELVES, and then set external standards to ensure quality of performance for themselves as well as others. These static standards, however, fail to meet life’s needs, causing unnecessary burden. The standards generate opinions that are placed on others, causing them to be overly critical. They inevitably fail to think through whether or not their standards are appropriate for themselves or others. All of this causes relational turmoil in the groups they belong to, and they, more than many other types, desire harmony in their social world.
Also, it is important to recognize that 1's, 2's and 6's are all VERBAL PROCESSORS. This means they need to verbalize what they're working through. For loved ones of these numbers, you must realize that they aren't necessarily looking for an answer or a solution. They are verbalizing in order to gain a new perspective.
So how do 1's, 2's and 6's develop their repressed thinking center?!!!
In this series, we will cover each of the numbers and go over growth points for each! Follow these links to continue our study and points of growth:
RESOURCES:
davidstamile.com / "Dependent Stance: Introduction"
theenneagramjourney.org / podcast episode 59 "The Enneagram & Repressed Centers"
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