THE DEPENDENT STANCE // Type 2 DEPENDENT STANCE (1's, 2's & 6's) are oriented to the actions of others.
Type Twos prioritize the Centers of Intelligence into three categories:
FEELING (dominant)
DOING (supportive)
THINKING (repressed)
Twos are feeling dominant and doing supported, so this means they spend most of their time (80-85%!) being attuned to and thinking of the feelings of others. Then they respond to those feelings by doing, serving and caring for others. They are naturally relational and warm-hearted without thinking about it!
This may sound wonderful, except it can become a habitual response for Twos to think of others. Therefore, their lack of self-awareness causes them to not think productively about themselves. Productive thinking includes moving from one ideological position to a new one, causing new ideas and conclusions. But when Twos are constantly dealing with internal racket fixated on the needs of others and how you might meet them, this is not productive thinking!
Two’s idealize themselves as loving and caring, but they rely on this self-image to the point that they do not actually care for themselves. Twos do for others to elicit gratitude and praise because they want to be loved, but they will settle for appreciation instead.
Unfortunately, when Twos don't take care of themselves, this affects how well they can take care of others. Left unchecked, their emotional/physical activity become unhealthy compulsions, coming from feelings of inadequacy and a deep seeded, unspoken/unaware belief that they have no value unless they can serve, help or nurture.
Also, the Twos aversion to talking about themselves is a symptom of their false humility. Twos believe the lie that it is humble to forget their own needs and serve others, but they misread their ability to care for others and themselves. Because they can care for other people, they think they are independent, but it's actually the other way around! Their giving is fueled by an unconscious need to be needed, which makes them, in fact, dependent on others.
Okay Twos...do not lose hope! Let's talk about some ways Twos can develop their Thinking Center and become more balanced.
GROWTH POINTS FOR TWOS:
You must take time for yourself! Set time aside to be alone (even from technology) and take a break from internal racket to nurture productive thinking.
Spend time alone to focus on yourself, your needs and desires.
Create personal boundaries for yourself - make personal space a priority!
Practice journaling alone, especially at the beginning of the day before the "racket" of others needs stirs all your thinking up.
Find a friend to meet with regularly - a friend that knows your struggles and needs, and who will help you think productively about yourself!
Spouse or friend of a Two: help them think and talk about themselves. Ask questions or help them to stay on topic about their needs and desires.
RESOURCES:
davidstamile.com / "Dependent Stance: Twos"
theenneagramjourney.org / podcast episode 59 "The Enneagram & Repressed Centers"
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