This week we're starting to dig into our Enneagram Types by learning about ORIENTATION TO TIME and how it relates to STANCES. Turns out they are directly correlated! So that makes this a lot easier! 🙌🏻 [Most of the info we're going to discuss is straight from the "Enneagram Godmother" herself, @suzannestabile ! She talks all about Orientation to Time in her podcast 🎙, The Enneagram Journey, Episode #50. So go listen and hear it from her own lips! She is an amazing woman and her teachings are so easy to listen to!] But let's start you all off by getting into some of the basics: ・ STANCES: are determined by which of the three centers of intelligence is REPRESSED! ➡︎ THINKING, FEELING or DOING ・ ORIENTATION TO TIME: is "COMFORTED" by your STANCE! (Hence the correlation! 🤯Right there - MIND BLOWN!!!) ・ 1's, 2's & 6's // Thinking Repressed ➡︎ Dependent Stance ➡︎ PRESENT ORIENTED ・ 3's, 7's & 8's // Feeling Repressed ➡︎ Against Stance ➡︎ FUTURE ORIENTED ・ 4's, 5's & 9's // Doing Repressed ➡︎ Withdrawing Stance ➡︎ PAST ORIENTED So what does all this mean any way?????
PRESENT ORIENTED // 1's ∙ 2's ∙ 6's
These numbers are THINKING REPRESSED, therefore, they are in the DEPENDENT STANCE. "But we think all the time!" you say! But is it really PRODUCTIVE thinking? The answer is usually no. (Yes, that's hard to hear!) 1's - you feel like you're constantly thinking because of your inner critic, but it's really not productive thinking, just inner dialog tiring you out. 2's - you spend a lot of quiet time thinking about relationships and others vs. thinking about yourself.
6's - you spend a lot of time thinking/managing your fear and anxiety by wondering about worst case scenarios and planning for the future, but it's not productive thinking!
Your ORIENTATION TO TIME is comforted by your STANCE!
Therefore, 1's, 2's and 6's are PRESENT ORIENTED - you don't have to carry with you what has happened in the past and you don't have to make a plan for where you're going in the future if you sit in the PRESENT. It's COMFORTABLE to just "be in the now." ✨KEY TO REMEMBER: you need to ask yourself what you NEED to think about today, then at the end of the day, go back and see if you were productive and/or how many times you were interrupted. Also, try to think "Where am I oriented? Where are they oriented?" in order to connect with others.
FUTURE ORIENTED // 3's ∙ 7's ∙ 8's
These numbers are FEELING REPRESSED, therefore, they are in the AGAINST STANCE. "But we feel and have emotions all the time!" you say. But is it really using your FULL RANGE OF FEELINGS? Again, the answer is usually no. (And again, that's hard to hear!)
3's - you take in feelings but don't use feelings to process the information.
➡︎ 3's need to stop hiding your feelings!
7's - you have a half-range of feelings, tending to only want t be on the happy side, you don't use your WHOLE RANGE OF EMOTIONS to process.
➡︎ 7's need to stop converting negative into positive and live in your full range of emotions! 8's - you're either passionate about doing something or you don't do it! Passion is not EMOTIONS! It's just ONE emotion, not a full range of emotions.
➡︎ 8's need to learn to express a full range of emotions, not just passion/anger!
Your ORIENTATION TO TIME is comforted by your STANCE!
Therefore, 3's, 7's and 8's are FUTURE ORIENTED - you keep looking to the future where there aren't ANY feelings yet, except anticipation, excitement and hopefulness, which are all easy for you to be in. ✨KEY TO REMEMBER: try to live in the full range of emotions of the here and now; notice your tendency to try to reshape people and situations towards the future! Also, try to think "Where am I oriented? Where are they oriented?" in order to connect with others.
PAST ORIENTED // 4's ∙ 5's ∙ 9's
These numbers are DOING REPRESSED, therefore, they are in the WITHDRAWING STANCE. "But we are DOING all the time!" you say. But is your "doing" really productive? The answer is usually no and seems to be the hardest for these numbers to hear!
4's - HOW you see affects your productivity (you tend to see in textures, color, depth, what something can be, etc) and this can be a distraction from getting the things done that actually need to get done.
➡︎ 4's need to commit to fewer things and complete the tasks, tending to be self-enriching tasks, for yourself. DON'T GIVE UP ON DOING FOR YOURSELF!
5's - you have measured amount of energy and tend to take too much time and energy over-planning (you plan to do vs. actually doing!)
➡︎ 5's need to plan less and DO MORE to be productive! 9's - you often doing get done what actually NEEDS to get done, tending to do things out of order or having trouble staying on task.
➡︎ 9's need to get help PRIORITIZING what NEEDS to get done today and stay on task!
Your ORIENTATION TO TIME is comforted by your STANCE! Therefore, 4's, 5's and 9's are PAST ORIENTED - by looking to the past, you don't have to actually DO anything, it's already been done. It's easy to FORGET what you missed in the past by saying "but I managed it okay then." ✨KEY TO REMEMBER: try to look outside yourself and stay focused on what is important to get done TODAY! Also, try to think "Where am I oriented? Where are they oriented?" in order to connect with others.
Each of the three Orientations to Time have a "REFERENCE POINT" or where their FOCUS is directed.
∙ PRESENT (1's ∙ 2's ∙ 6's) - your reference point is OUTSIDE yourself and is what helps you deal with what's right in front of you. However, it also keeps you from dealing with what's NOT right in front of you or what you've pushed aside and will "deal with later." ∙ FUTURE (3's ∙ 7's ∙ 8's) - your reference point is actually in the FUTURE! You have a drive to reshape people and situations into the future, but remember it doesn't mean those things will actually ever happen.
∙ PAST (4's ∙ 5's ∙ 9's) - your reference point is INSIDE yourself. You tend to make excuses of how you "managed okay" in the past, but you forget what you actually MISSED in the past!
"It's very difficult to make your way with a group of people if you can't reach where they are standing...we've got to have more fluidity in our ability to manage, including all three orientations to time!"
- from Episode 50 (time point - 18:20)
In order to be able to effectively communicate and understand others, we need to know how we are oriented, then know how they are oriented! This is especially true in parenting!
ORIENTATION TO TIME & PARENTING // ∙ PRESENT PARENTS - tend to use verbal processing with their kids (who, what, when, where, why)
∙ FUTURE PARENTS - tend to push to "just move forward"
* Pushing towards the future with PAST ORIENTED KIDS is also potentially ineffective! ∙ PAST PARENTS - tend to dwell on the past and all the things "done wrong" * Bringing up the past with PRESENT & FUTURE ORIENTED KIDS is potentially ineffective! Knowing your child's stance and your stance can be very helpful when communicating! Even if you can't figure out your child's Type, you can probably figure out their stance! ✨QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF WHEN THERE IS A DISCONNECT: ∙ Where am I oriented? ∙ Where are they oriented? ∙ What is the disconnect? ∙ How do we bridge this conflict and FIND one another?
#enneagram #orientationtotime #enneagramjourney #present #future #past #stances #enneagramstances #parenting #relationships #personality #personalitytypes
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